Kolleen Struggles Pt. 2

You might want a refresher on this one.

I find that every time I go to post something new that I’ve written, I chicken out. Today’s post was going to be about the difference between physical and mental challenges. Mainly how physical challenges are easier for me to bear, whereas mental challenges leave me in a crying ball in my bathtub. This is all relevant to today. The sobbing part is not an exaggeration. The problem is my “mental” issue is something I can’t be specific about at this moment, so it makes the post a little lackluster. So Ghost-of-Christmas-Past Kolleen spoke to me from my files today and brought me this gem. I haven’t read it back to back with the other list, but I think there are many similar items. Yes, that is the original title. The document is named Self-Esteem list, but it’s more 25 reasons why I was a weirdo in college (and was before and am currently) and 25 slightly cuter things.

11-2-08
Why I Am Amazing and Unique:
1. I love words, dialects and colloquialisms.
2. I listen to Otis Redding when I get ready on the weekends.
3. I collect money from other countries, though I’ve never been to them.
4. I am the best bargain shopper.
5. I can carry a tune.
6. I bake really good brownies, cookies, cakes, etc.
7. My mom and I are like the Gilmore Girls, but smarter and funnier.
8. I appreciate the people who befriend my crazy ass.
9. I can admit that I’m a nerd, and I push myself to do well in my classes.
10. I can only listen to a song so many times; I worry about getting sick of it.

11. I say Hail Marys when I am stressed or worried.
12. I hated being petite until my late, late teens.
13. I read Robert Frost and Longfellow poems when I was in elementary school.
14. I love making lists.
15. I never realized what a clean freak I was until I got roommates.
16. I love food. That seems obvious, but I really LOVE food.
17. I always sit on one foot, or Indian style, or anyway but normal.
18. I have a love/hate relationship with driving.
19. I like shopping with myself the best, or with one friend.
20. I collect leaves in the fall.
21. I love taking pictures of the sky.
22. Birds, clowns, and roller coasters scare me.
23. I don’t really speed. I got 5 over most of the time.
24. I hate scary movies and being scared.
25. I name inanimate objects.
26. I hate the show “Friends” with a passion.
27. I can’t do math.
28. I quit everything when I was little: dance, gymnastics, softball, tennis, etc.
29. If I could do one thing for the rest of my life it would be reading.
30. I judge people with bad grammar or spelling.
31. I hated Illinois until I moved to Missouri.
32. I am a feminist.
33. I should talk half as much as I do.
34. I’ve been looking forward to college my whole life.
35. I’d like to be a wino, but it doesn’t fit my anal personality.
36. I think the American culture has serious flaws.
37. I’ve loved shoes for my entire life. My mom calls them my heroine.
38. There is a rosary in my glove compartment.
39. I have a strange obsession with Elvis Presley.
40. I want a mint green Vespa but I would probably be too scared to ride it.
41. I analyze everyone I know. I like figuring out who they are.
42. I don’t get high fashion, but I love clothes.
43. I deconstruct and make clothes.
44. Sometimes I think I’m slightly autistic. I need alone time.
45. I have no short-term memory, especially with numbers.
46. I don’t think any man is capable of loving me.
47. I have the hobbies of an old woman: tea, sewing, crosswords, organizing.
48. I love art and taking photos.
49. When I am stressed or mad, I run for miles even if my legs ache.
50. I write amazing cards and make superb playlists.

Ok I did edit a couple minor things. I did not change any of the words though. And now for some commentary…

3. What the hell? That is lame.

26. This still makes my life difficult. Please just let that show die.

18, 23, 38. I don’t have a car anymore, but urban driving makes it impossible to speed, and now my rosary is on my bedpost.

31. Ouch? I think it means I appreciate my home state. If not, don’t worry, I hate Virginia more.

33. PREACH.

34. Now I’ll spend the rest of my life wanting to live that time over. Uprise Bakery, I will eat your goodies more this time!

36. Hilarious one to throw in there. Certainly this one and most of these hold true though.

46. Duh, did you read the rest of this list? You just called your self autistic, Past Kolleen. By the way, that is not a term to throw around lightly. I think that just needs to say introverted. Also if I were to make this fact current I would say: I don’t think any man is capable of loving me for very long.

49. Oh yeah, remember how I had my foot ripped open? Not so much with the running.