Kolleen Struggles

I’ve been thinking about renaming my blog to this title, but I’d be stealing the use of “struggle” from my friend. I just rather project this zen better version of myself than the truth.

The truth is I spend 5 minutes in Target telling my friend what her armpits should smell like, or rather choosing a deodorant. Also, I contemplate if my bangs are cute or shockingly close to my hair when I was 7 – the year I grew it a little longer to make up for the fact I had some jack-o-lantern teeth going. I think about shoes. I think about the increasing likelihood that I’m not going “settle down” like most people in my parents’ generation and I get sad. Boooooring.

I’m a mess just like everyone else. I don’t want to explain how much of a mess I am, because frankly I’m really good at whining and it’s not exactly a creative exercise.

So something fun…I just found this really odd “About Me” shoved into a book. I don’t know when I wrote it, or why, but guessing it was sometime while I was still living in Illinois and the corn was getting to my brain. (complete with annotations that I added today)

• I think farmers are cute. I can talk to them about the weather and how good black coffee is. (aw, stereotyping)
• I makes lots of noises. It throws people off when they first get to know me – until they realize it’s all part of the genius and subsequently flee or love me
• I think song lyrics are some of the best poetry.
• My family is a world-traveling, food/nature obsessed clan. You will hear my stories and be amazed.
• It takes my friends about two years to get my brothers’ names straight.
• I learned to put my heart into baking. My baked goods are a direct correlation of my love for you. (but not lately, whoops)
• Because I’m left-handed I got crap for my handwriting. I somehow ended up with really nice penmanship. (sort of)
• I don’t want to live in the Midwest anymore, but I won’t hesitate to say it spawns the nicest beings with the best values.
• I don’t remember ever being told I couldn’t do something. It must be a combination of selective memory and my very liberal parents. Also I never asked to smoke crack or run away with ex-con boyfriends. (I was a good kid, in other words)
• I get insanely giddy over buying shoes and often have shoe shopping fantasy dreams. I’ve loved shoes for as long as I’ve had feet.
• Yoga is medicine. It cures all.
• Whiskey is my favorite hard alcohol. Why do males find this impressive?
• I love office supplies. There’s something about a good pen that restores my balance and faith in the world.
• I hated being smaller until I was 18. Now people I know tend to debate if I am small or not. I get that comment at least once a week. I guess tall people have the same deal.
• I don’t know how cars work and it pisses me off. No one will show me how to change a flat or drive stick shift. Men are probably afraid women will learn cars and never need them for anything again and somehow become asexual. Too much? (ahahaha. I do know about flats, but now I don’t have a car…)
• I’ve had a diary since I was 13. I think I’m a really happy person,  but those notebooks hold all the evil. I should burn them but how will I recall all the angst and slang?
• I have two brothers, a dad, and a stepdad. So there’s four people who will beat your ass if you do me wrong. Just sayin’. That’s not even mentioning the wrath of Mama Bear. (who the hell was I writing this for?)
• I have terrible phone conversation skills. I’m awkward. In person I’m like a friggin’ stand up comic. (maybe?)
• I am the best bargain shopper ever. Hence why I own too much of everything and have never worn the same thing twice. Really, probably ever.
• I absolutely thrive on change. I don’t eat the same thing for long, don’t cut my hair the same way twice, can’t keep a purse for more than a few months, etc. Variety is the spice of life, yo. (I think the yo was me being facetious.)
• I like my pale skin and freckles. Except I often call myself a zombie and wouldn’t wish this complexion upon anyone. (eeend scene)

Also I admit, I corrected two slight grammatical errors, but nothing else. Quality struggles.